Living Through My Characters: Writing From the Inside Out

Writing isn’t just about putting words on a page. It’s about stepping into the mind of someone else. Becoming them, feeling their emotions, thinking their thoughts, breathing their air. When I create a character, I don’t just write their story. I live it with them.

I picture them moving through their daily lives, their routines, their impulses. I ask myself:

• How do they start their morning? Coffee or tea? Do they take it black or load it with sugar?
• Do they sleep soundly, or do they wake up at 3 AM staring at the ceiling?
• What pisses them off? What words cut them the deepest? What makes them want to throw a glass across the room?
• What do they laugh at when no one is watching? Are they loud and carefree, or do they stifle it behind their hand?
• What turns them on? Is it physical, emotional, psychological? Are they slow and teasing, or do they crave intensity?

Every detail, no matter how small, brings them to life. The way they react to their world (their ticks, their triggers, their desires) makes them feel real, not just to the reader but to me as the writer.

Becoming the Character

Some characters come naturally. The ones who reflect parts of myself are the easiest to slip into, as if I already know what they’ll say before they say it. But others? The ones who are vastly different from me? Those take work.

When I struggle to fully understand a character, I turn to their Enneagram personality type. Each of my characters has one, not as a box to confine them, but as a guiding thread for consistency.

• A Type 8 (The Challenger) won’t react the same way to betrayal as a Type 6 (The Loyalist).
• A Type 4 (The Individualist) will experience heartbreak differently than a Type 3 (The Achiever).
• A Type 9 (The Peacemaker) may avoid conflict, while a Type 1 (The Perfectionist) will push for justice, no matter the cost.

As my characters grow and change, I refine their Enneagram profiles, adding new layers shaped by their experiences. A once hesitant, self-doubting character might become hardened by betrayal. A control-driven character might learn to let go. Their arcs shape them, just as life shapes real people.

The Power of Visuals

I keep images of my characters (whether it’s actors, models, or AI-generated portraits) because visualizing them makes them easier to write. I see their faces, their posture, their expressions. I imagine how they move through a room, how their eyes darken when they’re angry, how their lips curve when they smirk.

This is especially crucial for writing erotica.

Let’s be real, writing sex scenes is one of the best parts of storytelling. It’s about more than just bodies; it’s about chemistry, psychology, who these characters are when they’re at their most vulnerable.

• A confident character might take control, knowing exactly what they want.
• A reserved character might hesitate, unsure of how far to go.
• Some need intimacy to feel connected, while others view sex as a power play.

Every touch, every glance, every shift in breathing means something. Visualizing their expressions, their movements, their personalities bleeding into the moment—that’s what makes an erotic scene unforgettable.

My Characters Feel Real to Me

Sometimes, I joke that my characters feel like my own version of The Indian in the Cupboard. If you’ve read the book, you know what I mean. In the story, a child places a plastic figurine into a cupboard, and when he opens it, the toy comes to life. The character isn’t just an object anymore—it has a voice, thoughts, emotions.

That’s exactly how I feel when I write.

My characters start as ideas, fragments of thoughts, whispers of dialogue. But the deeper I dive into them, the more they take on a life of their own. I don’t force them to act. I watch them act. Sometimes they do things I didn’t expect. Sometimes they react in ways I didn’t plan. And those moments? Those are the best ones. Because that’s when I know they’re real.

And that’s the magic of storytelling.